Just as you have the impulse to do something.
– Vigyan Bhairav Tantra
You are alive.
It is difficult to figure out where this anger thing is. It is triggered by irritation and ends up in anger. A certain kind of trigger, as in my case..to be told to do something, or if someone approaches me with an irritating or disturbed tone as well as a ‘complaining mode’ throws me off. This happens in work as well as in personal life. But the real question is, where is the root of this is. It’s root could be in the ego or self-image. I am not sure, but maybe it’s the need to be right. In daily situation, however, I am quite a good listener and fair in my actions. But somehow the ‘irritation’ is automatically triggered. I guess it can be classified as short-tempered than anger. It seems to be closer to being short-tempered than anger because it does not last long most of the time. It can be even an attachment to views or ways of thinking. Or the ‘advice’ just adds pressure to my current state of being and I get agitated. I just get worked up a bit faster than other people.
The other issue that produces anger in me comes from stored grudges. The reaction to that comes off in other occasions even years down the line. With this, I end up doing things to sub-consciously hurt other people in words or deeds. This was also so automated for a while that I just recently caught it. Now, this particular behavior had reduced quite a bit as I have started to be more expressive when someone is unjust to me or I feel someone betrayed me—rather than storing a grudge that keeps pouring poison into my being, which ultimately turns into anger and a vengeful attitude.
Any ideas or thoughts from your life ? 🙂
I was on my walking pilgrimage on the Narmada. One day, I woke up at 4am, perfect darkness outside and started to walk. Suddenly, I see a shallow river in my way. I crossed it knee deep in the darkness. Felt a sudden chill on my body. The water was lit up by the moon. I looked up at the moon and felt deep in my heart ‘God exists’.
I was in a party in a seven star hotel with the best food and drinks, smartest people, loud music and a rare opportunity to network with the rich and the brightest.
I started walked away, outside. I walked under the trees and looked up. And amongst the branches and in-between the leaves, I caught a glimpse of a small shining star. My heart sank into sweet peaceful contentment.
When we sleep, all of us look so beautiful. Like an innocent child sleeping. Even a dictator, terrorist is a child. It’s when we wake up with our minds, is when the world begins.